Every which way but coherent

So, ah, nevermind. This blog is on hiatus for a while.
I need to figure out some things. Like why I have a blog, what the hell I'm going to do with it and what the hell I get from it.
I'm reluctant to abandon it. But...
I don't know. I guess its good I had the experience.

edited February 28, 2005 6:21pm EST

I have to tell you something...

Your loyalty is misplaced. They don't deserve it. You know I'm right. Stop defending them!

(more later, and no, I'm not speaking to myself)

It's a bit fuzzy...

[Edited! If you think you've read this entry, scroll toward the end, there is new commentary!]

I stumbled upon an interesting short film called "More" today. It reminded me of something I once read entitled "The Peach Blossom Spring." Against better judgement (copyright laws), here is the best online translation of that work:

A fisher's boat chased the water into the coveted hills,
Both banks were covered in peach blossom at the ancient river crossing.
He knew not how far he sailed, gazing at the reddened trees,
He travelled to the end of the blue stream, seeing no man on the way.
Then finding a crack in the hillside, he squeezed through the deepest of caves,
And beyond the mountain a vista opened of flat land all about!
In the distance he saw clouds and trees gathered together,
Nearby amongst a thousand homes flowers and bamboo were scattered.
A wood-gatherer was the first to speak a Han-era name,
The inhabitants' dress was unchanged since the time of Qin.
The people lived together on uplands above Wu Ling river,
Apart from the outside world they laid their fields and plantations.
Below the pines and the bright moon, all was quiet in the houses,
When the sun started to shine through the clouds, the chickens and dogs gave voice.
Startled to find a stranger amongst them, the people jostled around,
They competed to invite him in and ask about his home.
As brightness came, the lanes had all been swept of blossom,
By dusk, along the water the fishers and woodsmen returned.
To escape the troubled world they had first left men's society,
They live as if become immortals, no reason now to return.
In that valley they knew nothing of the way we live outside,
From within our world we gaze afar at empty clouds and hills.
Who would not doubt that magic place so hard to find,
The fisher's worldly heart could not stop thinking of his home.
He left that land, but its hills and rivers never left his heart,
Eventually he again set out, and planned to journey back.
By memory, he passed along the way he'd taken before,
Who could know the hills and gullies had now completely changed?
Now he faced only the great mountain where he remembered the entrance,
Each time he followed the clear stream, he found only cloud and forest.
Spring comes, and all again is peach blossom and water,
No-one knows how to reach that immortal place.

I was also reminded of a song:

Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
Gonna eat me a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches

Peaches come from a can,
they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
I'd eat peaches every day
Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade

Take a little naps where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman,
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for it to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie

Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free

Look out!

Oh, and let us not forget the Kids in the Hall in "Brain Candy."

So, what do you think?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you watch the short film?
Ok. "The Peach Blossom Spring" is of Chinese origin. Its about a utopian paradise. This blissful place that a man stumbled upon once but could not find again. It was likely all in his head. There is no real utopian paradise. Yet, people often look for one. They'll even try to manufacture it. Especially when our realities can seem so bleek and terminal. The "Peaches" song by The Presidents of the United States of America always reminded me of "The Peach Blossom Spring." I thought maybe The PotUSoA were inspired by the Chinese story. The part that goes "Peaches come from a can, they were but there by a man..." always grabs my attention when I hear it. Peaches, a sweet & nurishing fruit found in nature, are now manufactured for the masses (and have lost some of their sweetness & nutrition in the process). The Kids in the Hall movie, "Brain Candy", had a similar theme re: the search for happiness & a reprieve from bleek realities. The happiness was manufactured for the masses who became babbling idiots (I think it was a pill). They became dependant upon the manufactured happiness and couldn't experience life without it.
I see that in society and its sad. You know that song by the Police, "Message in a Bottle", part of it goes: Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems I’m not alone at being alone...
Its true. A lot of people feel alone and/or empty (remember the inventor in "More" at the end reaches inside himself and finds nothing). We are all in search of our own Peach Blossoms and some of us are obcessed with it. Reality isn't exactly, ahem, peachy. And many of us can't handle that. Have you seen the commercial for the "Purple Pill" (brain candy)?
The ending of "More" was interesting. Dispearsed throughout were little blurts of children's laughter and gray figures on a merry-go-round. The inventor created goggles that made the gray & bleek reality colorful and blissful. He was now on top and some one else was on the bottom—using the inventors goggles to deal with it. And, despite his success, the inventor was still empty inside. He looked out the window and saw a shining light in the distance. The camera zoomed in and we saw, in color without the goggles, the children playing and laughing. No gray & bleek realities. Simple happiness in the real world.
I guess the viewer can take from that whatever the viewer wants. That happiness is fleeting and once we are adults... Well, that's not what I'm taking from it. What I get is (1) enjoy the simple things; (2) reality isn't always bad; (3) real happiness, although maybe not sustainable 100% of the time, comes from within—it can not be manufactured. (The fisher from The Peach Blossom Spring found his happy place from within).
I don't know that I'm explaining all this right. It just seems to me that all these works I mentioned have a similar theme and it is a theme I see in in the world we live in (the Chinese story is several thousands of years old so this theme must be part of the human experience, not just of modern times). All these works struck me intellectually & emotionally.
Thought I'd share it with others and see what they think.

(I typed this up in the comments section but its rather long so I've added it to the blog entry itself. And I'd really like to hear/read what the blog readers think of More, The Peach Blossom Spring story, the Peaches song, and if you've seen it, Brain Candy.)

'Cause I need to laugh but can't get politics outta my head

The red will never want to come together with the blue because then the country would be purple, thus, gay.

-monkeytoes tehsoapbox.net

A few festive announcements:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGIC! My puppy is 11 years old. Ok, not a puppy, but, she's just so cute!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS THE GREY! My pal Chris' age is confidential.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORY OF THE SHIRE! Yeah, um, definately confidential.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DJ! My other puppy is 11 years old. Again, not a puppy, but I saw her birth-she'll always be a baby to me.

I can't believe the news today

I can't close my eyes and make it go away. There's many lost, but tell me who has won. The trench is dug within our hearts. And mothers, children, brothers, sisters—torn apart. Wipe the tears from your eyes. Wipe your tears away. Oh, wipe your tears away. The real battle just begun.

I felt scared. I cried. I almost vomited. Then I became angry.
I'm going to paraphrase a few other people here:

How any damn fool could vote for the stupidest goddamn US President since WW2 is beyond me. He's fucked our economy, he's fucking our environment, he's doing nothing to catch terrorist number 1 ("not a priority') and lots to create an entire generation of America haters, he wants to interfere in yours and your neighbours lives, he's no kind of conservative, the defence budget is out of control, there's stinky corruption throughout the land, his tax cuts went overwhelmingly to the rich. But he's 'strong', he's 'resolute', he 'doesn't waver'. That's 'cause he's an UTTER MORON! And frankly, if you swallowed it, well, I'm speechless.
The US economy will soon go down the shitter, due to record deficits, the price of oil and irresponsible tax cuts. This will have a very serious knock-on effect around the world. I suspect the sharemarket will do alright for a while, those interests will be immune to the early warning signals and will be buffered by the tax cuts for the rich.

The US will continue to deny science and reason and refuse any sort of reform towards reducing greenhouse emissions. This will ensure that India and China (and Australia) do little or nothing either. Global climate change will hurt the poorest people the most - hope you like brown-skinned immigrants, there are plenty more about to arrive.
Unilateralism will rule in international relations. While the US can afford to maintain its standing army and technological gap (which will be a long time) they and their deputies will operate as they like. This will foster fear and resentment, promoting asynchronous warfare (aka terrorism) together with conventional arming up and delay much needed reform in many countries.
The increasing influence of the religious right in US politics will spur on movements both for and against this way of thinking around the world. The clash of civilisations, reason against faith, and faith against faith, will grow between Europe and the US, within the US and Australia, between Israel and Palestine, within Indonesia, etc.
I think the re-eelction of Bush has proved that he wasn't an aberration, he's the chosen path for a majority of the world's most powerful and dangerous civilisation, and this marks a sharp downturn in the progress of the humanist ideal. Everything can be recovered from, there are always steps forward, but it seems that the world just took a serious lurch towards an ugly, brutal, impoverished, conflicted world.

Everything *can* be recovered from. Maybe I've taken the step from anger to delusion. But I have to hang on to that. It is time for me (and I suspect others) to re-evaluate my life. Where I'm going, what I'm doing, what is important to me, what contributions I've been making to society & what I've been getting back.
I have given (and am still giving) serious thought about leaving this country. I am ashamed. The values expressed by most people in this country are the values of bigotry, violence, greed... I don't want any part of that.
There are a lot of skeletons in the US's closet. The country (whether is was the gov't without the knowledge of the people, corrupt business, or sleezy individuals) has done a lot of bad things. And the good things, well quite a few were done with alterior motives, rarely through genuine altruism. When I felt pride & respect for the US it was for those people who tried to stop the country from doing the bad things & worked for good things just because they were good. I had hope that there were enough of us to move the country toward something really positive.
And then there was Dubya, the PNAC, and the religious-right. As it turns out, many people in this country are OK with all the shit these fucks are doing to us. They embrace it. They ignore it. All they want to know is that Dubya will protect them from the f*gs and sandn*ggers. That is what I'm ashamed of. I'm connected to them because they are my fellow citizens.
I was thinking about all this on my drive to and from school today. I became angry because they made my country a disgrace. And then I shouted: Fuck them!
Gawddammit. This may be the home of George W. Bush, Jerry Falwell, the KKK... But this is also the home of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Alice Paul, Jimmy Carter, and ME. Gawddammit.
This is my home. This is my land. This land is your land. And we have got to do something to save it from itself. I feel it is my duty as a citizen, a citizen of Earth, to do something. To fix this. To stay and work so that everything real American heroes like Rev. King, Ms. Paul, and President Carter worked for is not in vain.
Sadly, the United States of America is *not* a sweet land of liberty. But I want to do something to make that change. I don't know what yet. I will need my friends to help with my courage. But I *have* to do something.
I. Can't. Let. Those. Mother. Fuckers. Win.
Unlike Senator Kerry, I. Will. Not. Concede.

O MY GOD, THE RED SOX JUST WON THE F*CKING WORLD SERIES

O MY GOD, THE RED SOX JUST WON THE F*CKING WORLD SERIES.
As a sports fan, there have been few times in which I have been more happy than I am now. I would be dishonest if I said I am a Red Sox fan. I love the Phillies. They may suck, but they are my team. But I do respect the Red Sox and I can say I always have.
This has been an amazing season for Red Sox fans. That series against the Yankees was the best baseball I've seen played in my life. And to come back from a 3 game deficit. Then to sweep the Cardinals. Wow.
This is so cool. I saw the ball make a hop toward the pitchers mound and I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I actually said outloud: Oh my god, the Red Sox just won the f*cking World Series.
Congradulations to the Red Sox organization. And congradulations to all the long-time (real) fans of the team who have waited so long for this.
And an extra congradulations to the City of Boston. They've got the Superbowl champs and the World Series champs.
This is so cool.
THE RED SOX JUST WON THE F*CKING WORLD SERIES. AND I SAW IT HAPPEN!